Mom Life

Dear Mama in the Trenches…

Dear Momma in the Trenches,

You. Are. Enough. I’m going to go ahead and say that again, because I think you may really need to hear it. You are enough. More than enough, actually. You are just what your kiddos need, and you are more than enough.

I see you with your hair in a bun, spit up on your shirt, and those tired circles under your eyes. Maybe you can’t even remember the last time you showered.

You don’t even set an alarm anymore, because a child under the age of four has taken over the job of the alarm clock. People keep encouraging you to “start your mornings off right by waking up before your kids,” but you’re sitting over there like, “I don’t really feel like starting my day at 4:00 a.m., but thanks.”

You are in a season of servitude. You wake up and just jump right in, getting the people what they need. Maybe you haven’t even finished cleaning up from breakfast yet before the troops are asking for a morning snack. Before you know it, someone has a diaper situation that is going to need your immediate attention. And you feel like life is the epitome of chaos right now.

Maybe you are in the season of potty training, and can we just recognize how difficult and often frustrating that is? Don’t think I didn’t consider sending my littles off to college with pull-ups, because you guys, potty training is no joke.

Your days are spent pouring into those little ones you love so much. They are relying on you to meet their every day needs, and you are happy to do it. But let’s not pretend that it’s always fun or always easy. You are constantly giving of yourself to take care of these sweet tiny people. And if we are being honest, some days are really hard.

You work all day to care for people, to meet their needs, to clean their bottoms and their messes, and then they show their appreciation by stalling at bedtime, begging for another drink, and one more trip to the potty. Kids certainly don’t realize how lucky they are. Wouldn’t you love for someone to tell you to go to go to bed and stay there?

Even after you finally get them to sleep, there are still dishes that need done and often laundry that needs folded. Whoever said, “A mother’s work is never done,” wasn’t kidding. The dishes will continue to get dirty, and the laundry will never get caught up. The work you do is on repeat, for what feels like an eternity.

Not only are you caring for the basic needs of your children, but you are also guiding and teaching them how to exist in this great big world. You are teaching them to be kind to others and use their manners. You taught them to use their words instead of just screaming and throwing a tantrum. {Maybe they haven’t learned that lesson fully yet, but they will!}. You are modeling to them how to communicate and how to be respectful, how to be patient and how to clean up their messes. You are training up your tribe to be successful humans, who know how to give love because of the love you are giving to them. 

Right now, it’s hard to see past the spilled cheerios, leaky diapers, and toddler tantrums. You love your babies with your whole heart, more than you have ever loved anyone before, but if one more person tells you “enjoy every moment,” you may just scream. I’m going to go ahead and give you permission to NOT love every moment. You do not have to enjoy cleaning up the next mess that will inevitably happen. You likely won’t enjoy the next explosive diaper. That’s okay. You are not required to love every moment of motherhood. Your work is hard, it’s messy, and it seems never ending. It is okay to long for diaper free days and tearless nights.

But even through the not so enjoyable moments, rest assured that your job is so unbelievably important. It may feel as though you’re living on the set of Groundhog Day, and you’re just repeating the same day over and over again. I promise you this, these days do not last forever, no matter how relentless they may seem.

Even though you may be in the thick of it, you are rocking this mom thing. You may not feel like you are, but that’s exactly why I want to encourage you today. You are the mom God chose to parent your kiddos. You are exactly the mom they need. Your work is valuable, and you have value. Stay the course. Keep doing what you do. No one else can mom like you do.

Just in case you haven’t heard it lately, you’re doing a great job.

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