I am the world’s worst housewife. It’s true. If there was a contest with judges, I would win by a landslide.
It’s the skeleton in my closet, the thorn in my side. I have mentioned before that I have a type B personality, which is less flattering than type A on the Meyers Briggs scale.
While I may be more laid back and creative, I’m also less regimented and “scheduled.” Lovely. Having a routine doesn’t come naturally to me, and I’m just basically a hot mess. There. I said it.
I feel like I’m always behind, and will never catch up. I work like crazy, and get distracted easily. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Most days I hit the pillow feeling defeated, and frustrated with myself for my inability to complete my overwhelming to do list.
For the first 11 years of my marriage, my personality was the source of a lot of self loathing. Why couldn’t I just get it together? Why couldn’t I be more like other moms who made it look so easy? What was wrong with me? Why was I such a mess?
In the past year I have been working on a better inner dialogue.
You see, these things about my personality, while they are true, they do not define me.
I may be the world’s worst housewife, but that’s not what is most important. Focusing on the ways I come up short just distract me from focusing on eternal truths that actually matter.
John 1:12 Says, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to be called children of God.”
I may be a wife, mother, housekeeper, cook, chauffeur…and the list goes on. But the most important title I wear is DAUGHTER. I am a child of God. A daughter of the king. When my life is over, it won’t matter how clean my house was or if I measured up to the world’s standards of what a stay at home Mom looks like. But I will remain a child of God for all of eternity.
When I feel inadequate and unimportant, I need to focus on my value and worth in Jesus.
1 Peter 2:9 days, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
My worth isn’t based on my ability to keep my house tidy, stay caught up on laundry, or cook fancy meals (Thank goodness!). My worth is found in my Creator; I am “God’s own possession (ASV).”
Maybe unlike me, you have a more type A personality. You can’t relate to the struggle of keeping a routine or balancing housework because those things come naturally to you. (I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous!).
Chances are, you may be finding false identity in other areas of your life, maybe in your weight, relationships, or your career.
It doesn’t have to be a negative thing in order to steal your identity. The tragedy occurs when we believe the lie that ANYTHING is more important than our identity in Jesus.
When I feel consumed by my faults, it’s a direct indication that I’ve lost focus of Who I belong to and what that means in the big picture. It is then that I need to meditate on what I know to be true. I am deeply loved. I am fiercely forgiven. I. Am. Enough.
When I allow myself to to live in a space that believes God’s awesome truths, I am able to to live more intentionally with more joy. And when Mom has more joy, it impacts the whole family in amazing ways.
Does this mean I’ve given up on having a clean home and keeping things in order? Absolutely not. I still work hard to manage my mess, and staying focused on my daily tasks. I continue to work on building routines and setting attainable goals. But when I begin to let those overwhelm me, I realize I need to realign my focus on the One who calls me worthy. He says I’m enough. And that’s enough for me.
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” -Colossians 3:1-3 (NIV)