I don’t know about you, but the vision I have in my head of the Mom I’d like to be isn’t always what plays out in real life. Like, I may try to channel my inner Joanna Gaines combined with my inner Pioneer Women, but truth be told I look more like Melissa McCarthy on the set of Ghostbusters….only instead of hunting ghosts I’m searching for whatever has caused the smell in the back of my mini van.
And can we just talk about how impossible it is to keep a van completely clean? Try as I might, it’s impossible. It’s like the opposite of the Bermuda Triangle. Instead of stuff disappearing, all that mess just multiplies like magic. It has to be magic because everyone is ADAMANT that nothing in there belongs to them. It’s a crazy phenomenon where wrappers, crumbs, and half eaten nuggets just randomly appear in minivans all over the nation. They should really do a study on these things.
And while we are on the subject of minivans, there is literally nothing more terrifying to a momma than realizing there is a sippy cup of milk that has gone MIA inside her minivan. Momma’s gonna have to call for back up because this is a real life emergency. And once you find that cup, you may just have to have a sippy cup funeral, because depending on how long that cup has been missing, and how much milk it contained, it may not be salvageable. There’s no coming back from a sippy full of curdled milk. No, sir. You better just say good bye now.
The only good thing about my messy van is that when one of my children inevitably fails to wear shoes to church, there’s a very good chance that we have a back up pair somewhere. This is the reason my 5 year old was seen wearing Keens with her maxi dress at church a few weeks ago. Because not only can I channel Joanna Gaines and Ree Drummond, but I clearly have a strong fashion sense that I have passed down to my girls as well. That fashion sense basically is about as on point as Jimmy Fallon in his barber shop quartet. I’m pretty much as fashionable as the mom jeans ladies from SNL. Basically, you don’t want to emulate the look, but at the same time you can’t look away.
Whether you can rock a double denim like Joanna or not, just keep doing you, mom friends. Nobody else can mom like you do. Even in your messy van.